Hey friend, is ghosting ever okay?

Ghosting – when someone cuts off all communication without explanation – has become more and more common. But this can really hurt the person being ghosted. So is it ever okay to ghost someone? As your friend, let me share some thoughts.

Ghosting hurts

Let‘s be real – ghosting stings. You‘re left wondering what happened, blaming yourself, and don‘t get closure. I‘ve been there myself, and it‘s the worst!

One study found that ghosting can increase feelings of rejection, lower self-esteem, and raise depression and anxiety. It‘s just cruel to leave someone hanging like that!

Another study said up to 25% of people have been ghosted. It‘s becoming way too normal to just disappear on people we supposedly care about.

As a friend, I want to say – you deserve so much better than someone who ghosts you! It says more about their issues than yours.

Why people ghost

I used to think ghosting was only done by jerks. But researching this more, I‘ve gained some empathy (while still not approving!)

Some reasons people ghost:

• Avoiding confrontation

• Fear of intimacy

• Bored or lost interest

• Found someone else

• Don‘t want to hurt the person

While I get that facing rejection is hard, cutting off communication leaves the other person hurting even more. There are kinder ways to end things!

When might ghosting be understandable?

Look, in most cases I don‘t think ghosting is ever justified. But there are some situations where I grudgingly understand it:

If you feel unsafe or threatened – Your safety always comes first. Don‘t feel guilty about cutting contact.

Early in dating – Ghosting after a few dates or before exclusivity hurts, but isn‘t as damaging as ghosting a partner.

With an abusive person – You don‘t owe them an explanation. Do what you need to stay safe and sane!

When they ignore requests for space – If they won‘t respect your boundaries, ghosting may feel like the only option left.

Even in these cases, a quick "I need to stop seeing you" text is better than nothing. But I don‘t judge people for ghosting if they feel in danger.

Healthier ways to end things

When possible, try to avoid ghosting. Here are some more thoughtful ways to end things:

• Have an honest conversation in person explaining your feelings. Offer closure.

• Send a clear text or message that you don‘t see it lasting long-term.

• Slowly respond less over time rather than abruptly cutting off.

• Have a mutual friend explain if you‘re uncomfortable.

• Seek counseling if your fear of confrontation leads to ghosting frequently.

Advice if you‘ve been ghosted

My friend, if you‘ve been ghosted recently, here are some tips to help you through it:

• Don‘t bombard them with messages – I know you want answers, but it‘ll only push them further away.

• Don‘t blame yourself – Their issues caused them to ghost, not anything you did wrong!

• Practice self-care – Spend time with loved ones, exercise, write in a journal – don‘t isolate yourself.

• Remove them from social media – Seeing their posts will just lead to more hurt.

• Get counseling if you‘re really struggling with depression or low self-worth. You deserve to feel better!

• Learn warning signs – Notice if new dates don‘t initiate or seem avoidant early on. Don‘t ignore red flags!

• Assert your needs in future relationships – Set boundaries to deter ghosters. You deserve commitment.

It‘s so hard, but don‘t let ghosting destroy your confidence. You have so much to offer. With time, you‘ll be ready to move on and find the love you deserve!

Wishing you all the best,
Your friend