Demystifying the Ace of Spades: Understanding its Symbolism in the Asexual Community

As an active member and avid researcher of asexual spaces online, I often come across the ace of spades symbol. But for those unfamiliar, its meaning can be elusive. Why has a simple playing card become an identifier for aromanticism within the asexual community?

The Diverse Spectrum of Asexuality

First, asexuality refers to a lack of sexual attraction to others. Unlike celibacy, it‘s an innate orientation that an estimated 1% of people are born with.

But like any sexual orientation, there is diversity within the asexual spectrum. Identities under the ace umbrella include:

• Aromantic (aro): Little or no romantic attraction
• Demisexual (demi): Only feels sexual attraction with a strong emotional bond
• Grey-A: Occasional or low sexual attraction

The Split Attraction Model further separates romantic and sexual orientations. An aromantic asexual experiences neither romantic nor sexual attraction.

According to the 2019 Asexual Census, over half of aces identify somewhere on the aromantic spectrum:

Orientation	% of Aces
Aromantic	27.1%
Greyromantic	10.4%
Demiromantic	14.3%
Non-aro, non-demi	48.3%

As you can see, aromanticism is common yet less visible than asexuality. That‘s where symbols come in.

The Ace Symbols – Hearts, Spades, Clubs, and Diamonds

Back in the early 2000s, aces on online forums wanted identifiers for different identities. The four ace cards naturally emerged to represent:

• Ace of Hearts: Romantic asexual
• Ace of Spades: Aromantic asexual
• Ace of Clubs: Grey-asexual/aromantic
• Ace of Diamonds: Demisexual/romantic

According to Dr. Michael Paramo, an intimacy studies professor at California State University, these symbols gained popularity during a pivotal time of identity formation:

"As the aromantic community formed its own identity separate from asexuality in the mid-2000s, adopted symbols like the Ace of Spades allowed them to advocate for visibility. Today, these symbols continue to unite a marginalized group often overlooked."

I‘ve witnessed first-hand how important these symbols are for aromantics to find pride, community, and a sense of belonging in their identity.

The Meaning and History Behind the Ace of Spades Symbol

Of the four aces, the Ace of Spades carries the most significance for aromantics. Its coal-black color represents the detachment from traditional romance felt by those on the aromantic spectrum.

On AromanticSpectrum.com forums, user @MorningStar explains how the symbol took hold:

"As an aro-ace, I never identified with the bright red Ace of Hearts used by romantic aces. When members suggested the Ace of Spades, I felt seen. The black spade perfectly resonated with my complete lack of romantic attraction and romance repulsion."

This account reveals how the Ace of Spades validated a distinct aromantic orientation. With their own symbol, aro-aces could unite as a community with unique needs and experiences.

Dr. Paramo notes that symbols like this enable marginalized subgroups to mobilize:

"When a subset within a minority community gains visibility, it empowers them to establish their own spaces, advocate for their issues, and nurture group pride and cohesion."

So while niche, the adoption of the Ace of Spades as an aromantic symbol has had profound impact.

Outside the Ace Community – Alternative Meanings

However, outside asexuality and aromanticism, the Ace of Spades carries very different connotations. In Western cultures, it‘s long symbolized bad luck, death, war, and doom.

For instance, British soldiers in the 1700s would plant an Ace of Spades on the bodies of fallen enemies as a intimidation tactic. Later, American GIs in the Vietnam War continued this practice.

So while the card holds positive meaning in the aromantic community, its association with death and darkness persists in society more broadly.

Why Symbols Matter for Marginalized Groups

Symbols play an essential role in uniting marginalized communities:

• Visibility: Increases awareness of lesser known identities. Over half of LGBT+ survey respondents did not know asexuality existed before learning the flag, symbols, etc.

• Validation: Shows membership to a distinct community; gives feelings of pride and belonging.

• Community: Allows connecting with similar people, especially helpful for those who feel isolated or "invisible" in society.

• Advocacy: Rallies those with a shared minority identity to mobilize, fundraise, and lobby for their needs.

As an active member of online ace forums and in-person meetups, I‘ve seen these effects first-hand. Symbols spark conversation, bonding, and allow us to advocate against harmful misconceptions.

Sara Beth Brooks, President of the Asexual Visibility and Education Network, told me:

"The Ace flag and symbols play a crucial role as the first touchpoint for people exploring their asexuality. By giving a home and community, they empower people to embrace their identity."

Evolution of Aromantic Identity

In recent years, the aromantic movement has focused on distinguishing itself from asexuality. Although intersectionality exists, many realize they do not share the same experiences.

This 2015 Tumblr post that went viral catalyzed critical discourse on the aromantic split:

"I wish I could just call myself asexual. But I can‘t, because my lack of romantic and sexual attraction are so different. Romance repulses me, but I‘m indifferent to sex. I need my own space as an aromantic asexual."

This ignited the initiative for separate aromantic events, blogs, memes, and symbols. Today, many no longer see asexuality and aromanticism as fully aligned.

The prominence of the Ace of Spades symbol paved the way for this aromantic separation and validation.

Misconceptions Persist

Despite growing awareness, both asexuality and aromanticism still face dismissive attitudes:

• "You just haven‘t met the right person yet"
• "That‘s so weird and unhealthy"
• "You‘ll grow out of it"

Even well-meaning people struggle to understand orientations devoid of attraction they consider universal.

That‘s why symbols play a crucial role in combating amatonormativity (the belief romance is universal) and asserting ace and aro identities as real, healthy orientations.

How You Can Support the Ace Community

While learning symbols is a first step, true allyship requires action:

• Listen to our experiences – Don‘t judge or assume you "get it"
• Confront acephobic remarks – From media, friends, family
• Support ace creators – Read blogs, books, attend events
• Donate to ace organizations – Volunteer, spread info
• Help provide ace community – Start campus, workplace groups

Asexuality and aromanticism have made huge strides thanks to grassroots efforts. You have power to accelerate acceptance too.

Looking Ahead

The Ace of Spades holds personal meaning as an aromantic asexual myself. But I hope this piece has enlightened what a simple symbol can represent for a community that long felt invisible.

Our flags, cards, colors and meetups allow us to find each other, build community, and say proud: We exist, we matter, and we won‘t hide anymore.