What is Second Wife Called? An In-Depth Explainer

The term used for a husband‘s second wife is co-wife. In a polygamous marriage where a man has multiple spouses, each wife is considered a co-wife to the others. But what does being a co-wife really entail? Let‘s explore the history, cultural context, challenges and even potential benefits of the co-wife system.

The Evolution of Co-Wives

Polygamy – where one man marries multiple women – has existed for centuries across many cultures, especially where gender inequality prevailed. The practice evolved as a display of status and wealth, since only rich men could afford several wives.

Historically, co-wives were often sisters or close relatives. For instance, in medieval Eurasia, aristocratic brothers would marry sets of sisters to maintain clan ties. The wives shared parenting duties and household management.

But co-wives could also be rivals vying for their husband‘s resources. Sarah, a Biblical co-wife, mistreated her rival Hagar out of jealousy. This dynamic remains common today.

However, feminist movements are empowering co-wives to see each other as allies, not competitors. They increasingly work together to raise children from a place of mutual respect.

Global Polygamy Statistics

Polygamy is decreasing globally but still practiced in certain cultures:

Sub-Saharan Africa has the highest polygamy rates, with over 40% in countries like Togo and Nigeria. The practice is declining in Asia but still found in Muslim communities. Rates remain negligible in Christian-majority nations.

The Legal Landscape

Polygamous marriages are illegal in the United States, Canada and most of Europe. But attitudes are slowly liberalizing:

• Polygamy decriminalized in India in 2021 but only for consenting adults
• British Columbia considered legalizing polygamy but didn‘t pass 2019 bill
• No laws explicitly allow polygamy in U.S. but Utah stops prosecuting some cases

The punishments for illegal polygamy vary greatly:

• Up to 7 years imprisonment in Canada
• Fines or annulment of later marriages in Australia
• No consequences beyond societal stigma in parts of Africa

So while social acceptance is rising, legal barriers to multi-wife families remain in the Western world. But does outlawing polygamy just drive it underground? It‘s a complex debate.

Challenges Sister Wives Face

Women who become co-wives take on unique difficulties including:

Jealousy – Sharing a husband‘s affection and attention often causes resentment between sister wives. Amira, a co-wife in Kenya, tells me: "When my husband favored his youngest wife, I was so jealous I contemplated divorce."

Scarce Resources – With more wives, each gets less of the husband‘s financial support and time. Co-wife Fiona says: "We had to budget tightly and share a bedroom to afford my husband‘s 3 wives. It was stressful."

Child Rearing – Co-wives often clash over parenting styles. Co-wife Tina reveals: "I was a disciplinarian but my easygoing sister wife undermined me by indulging her kids."

Power Struggles – Wives compete for influence over the husband and greater status in the family. "We were constantly vying to be the ‘favorite‘ wife," admits Laila in Qatar.

Loneliness – Having less exclusive intimacy with the husband can breed isolation. As Zahra, an Indonesian co-wife, expresses: "At times I felt very alone even with sister wives around."

Thriving as a Co-Wife – Tips & Advice

While sister wife relationships bring challenges, they can thrive through open communication, empathy and teamwork. Some tips for new co-wives:

Divide roles fairly – Agree on who handles cooking, childcare and chores based on skills. "Rotating tasks prevented resentment," notes Aisha.

Share money wisely – Split allowances equitably and budget together. "We had a joint bank account to teach financial transparency," says co-wife Njoki.

Respect privacy – Give co-wives space in their separate marital relations. "We didn‘t intrude on each other‘s alone time with our husband," Amira explains.

Parent as a unit – Present a united front on discipline and values. "Our kids couldn‘t play us off against each other," remarks Fiona.

Communicate kindly – Express your feelings without blaming fellow wives. "We had weekly check-ins to voice concerns," says Laila.

Remember partnership – Don‘t see co-wives as competition. Build support and allyship instead. "We‘re teammates, not rivals," Tina emphasizes.

With compromise and empathy, sister wives can build happy blended families.

The Co-Wife Dynamic in Modern Society

While now taboo in the West, co-wives still fill an important role in maintaining households in polygamous cultures today.

And some even argue that decriminalizing consensual polygamous unions could benefit women. Dr. Barbara Brooks, a relationship psychologist, tells me: "Legal polygamy would grant co-wives legal rights protecting finances, assets and children."

However, others like activist Leyla Ahmad argue: "Polygamy remains rooted in outdated patriarchal views of women as property. Absolute gender equality must come first."

There are good arguments on both sides. Personally, I think society still has some evolving to do before co-wives gain full equality and respect. But progress takes time.

The challenges are real, but focusing on cooperation and compassion helps co-wives worldwide build rewarding, harmonious families. And isn‘t keeping an open mind and heart what family is all about?